Monday, September 21, 2009

But would the movie be any good?

Our latest question came from our very own Michelle:

Who would play you in a movie based on your life?

I’ll post Michelle’s first since it’s her question, then the rest as I got them:

Michelle Williams• Michelle: When posed the question of who would play me in a movie based on my life, I broke my answer down in two ways: the ones who look like me and the ones who I think would be able to properly convey my style of weirdness onto the screen. To answer the first, I have chosen Michelle Williams as the one who would most look like me. (And if you were expecting someone else, too bad.)

However, I have a special brand of dark, weird, and creepy that makes me such a wonderful person (yes, I’m giggling at that wonderful person part too) and I do believe that it would take a different kind of attitude to portray that. As such, I think that I would have to choose from one of the three: Christina Ricci, Winona Ryder, or Rose McGowan. I, of course, am no Wednesday Addams, but it’s close enough.

• Houston: This is one that has me on edge, "Who would play me in a movie based on my life?

Wow, the possibilities.

OK, first choice is John Candy.  Nice guy and he looks just like me with hair.  Look at him.


Uncle Buck was awesome and just think, give him a buzzcut, grow the goatee...

What? He's dead?


OK, let me think...

Got one! Chris Farley.

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE REMEMBERS CHRIS FARLEY -- NBC Special -- Pictured: Chris Farley -- NBC PhotoHeadshot

He doesn't look quite as much like me, but he still has kind of a resemblance to me.  Another portly actor and the freakin' "Chippendale's" skit had me laughing my butt off!

What? You're kidding? He's dead too?

John Belushi? CRAP!

OK, wait a minute. What about Jack Black? Is he still alive?

OK, whew.

Jack and me are like peas in a pod.


OK, less like me and I am taller, but he plays guitar and sings, I play bass and... play bass.

Since all my guys are dead can Morgan Freeman narrate my story like "The Shawshank Redemption?" He's not dead yet is he? No? He will?


[Scene: Kitchen: Fade in from black.  Back view of Houston (John Candy Chris Farley John Belushi Jack Black) in his underwear (tighty whitey's) cooking on the stove singing to himself.]

Narrator - Houston was cooking some bacon on the day he was discovered as the most awesome guy in the world.  Bacon being such a fabulous treat for such a fabulous guy.  The chicks dug him too. More than an average man, he was almost...

What? What do you mean Morgan Freeman just quit?

Man, this question SUCKS! 

• Mollie Katie: If a movie were to be made based on my life, it would probably be a slightly glorified version of the Lifetime "Movie Of The Week." In other words, the classic Ashley Judd lady-in-distress turned ass-kicker Hollywood movie. Which is fitting I guess, since of all the living actresses to choose from, Ashley Judd was the first who came to mind in terms of resemblance. Allegedly... I will not reveal my physical resemblance over the interwebs, because I don't trust this series of tubes and the freaks who use it. Myself included. Actually, the more I think about it the more I would completely resist turning my life story into a movie because it would be the kind of feel-good crap I absolutely detest watching. So I'm changing my answer to Ava Gardner, who is a much more difficult actress to obtain for the part, in that she's dead. Problem solved. You're welcome, America. One less awful movie for you!

• Justin: This is a tough one. Especially since I’ve been crazy busy with rehearsing for a performance this past Saturday night all week. But I’ll try to anyway.

I can’t think of any actors that look like me, but I can think of one that yells like me.

Al Pacino.

So I’d have to go with him just for that.

• Jen: For this post we were asked to pick someone that we would like to see play us in a movie of our lives. And while I do not feel that my life would make the most interesting story for the big or small screen I guess we have all asked ourselves this question at some time in our lives.  I wish I could say that there was a long list of potential people banging around up in my head but there really isn’t.  I’m not so unique that someone couldn’t pull it off and probably make me a more interesting person to boot, but I hate suggesting that anyone would be like me because they might hate the idea.  But I thought for a week, yes a week, and finally after finding out that dead people qualify, it came to me instantly.

Jean Arthur.  I think that maybe I am stretching it a bit, but I loved the characters she played and she managed to bring such humor and earnestness to her roles.  I would love to be a character she played, maybe more than I think I deserve to have her play me in a movie.  There are similarities, I try to go through my life with humor and good grace.  I believe (still) in the innate goodness of people and that it wins out over the evil in the world.  She played ‘Clarissa Saunders’ in “Mr. Smith Goes to Washington” and while she started out slightly jaded, she was soon overcome with the innocence and determination of James Stewart’s character, Mr. Smith.  In “You can’t take it with you” she plays ‘Alice Sycamore’, the lone sane member of a family full of loving but slightly demented people.  She comes across so well in that movie; you just love her all the more for it.  And then there was the type of role she played when she took on the movie “Shane”. 

Yeah, I think I could stand to have my life played out on the screen by Jean Arthur. Her voice, meh, maybe not so much. I don’t have the squeaky voice she does but that is of no consequence. I have a very non-descript voice so it might lend some character to the role.  Her beauty outshines mine but that’s my secret, her hair was usually blonder and she while she was shorter than me by a whole inch, she was most certainly thinner and smarter, but I think she could’ve dumbed down for the role.

Kristin has elected to skip this question.

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