Monday, January 18, 2010

This post is kind of like MythBusters, just without all the explosions

Happenings in my life (which will be explained below) got me thinking about something I’d always heard, but wasn’t sure about. So, I decided to ask The Panel about it. Here’s the question I sent out:

Is the way to a man's heart really through his stomach?

I figured this would be an interesting question for the gang to tackle. Let’s see if I was right:

Jen: I would venture a guess and say yes. I know I had several moments where I had to verbalize a warning to Justin while he was here. Such as, "This soup will demand a marriage proposal upon eating it" Oh, and it did and we restrained ourselves. But then I let loose the black-bottomed cupcakes on him.  Justin had Las Vegas keyed into the GPS. Oh wait, I have no GPS. Which is why I get lost all the time while driving.

I sent Justin home with some goodies and I've actually mailed him more, I don't want him to forget, after all. He comes back I'm April, and I've already been looking for ideas and planning menu items. He will be here for his birthday, there will be cake. You know, the whole "heart-stomach" thing may not be true, but why take any chances?

• Justin: What Jen didn’t tell you is that she also met me at the airport with Starbucks in hand. What more could a guy ever want after sitting on a plane for two and a half hours?

That soup was great stuff and if I’d had a ring I would have proposed on the spot. But, I didn’t and I wasn’t about to ask if I could borrow Jen’s car to run and get one. Besides the obvious problem that it was at least 9 PM, pretty much limiting my jeweler options to Walmart, I was in Phoenix. A place I’ve never been before. I would have been lost within two minutes of leaving her house. Never mind the whole matter of having to say “Yea, I know I just got here and all, but I need to borrow your car and go somewhere.” That would have looked just AWESOME, don’t you think?

Yea, me neither.

Oh, and those cupcakes. They were amazing! That, in my mind, is what heaven would taste like if heaven were a cupcake.

Oh, yea, there’s a question to answer, isn’t there? Despite what you might think from above, food alone isn’t going to win me over. I was already head-over-heels for Jen before I flew out there because she’s an amazing woman, but the goodies certainly didn’t hurt either. It won’t lock things up by any stretch of the imagination, but it certainly does help if everything else is right.

Also, I think I’ll pack my GPS in April…

• Kristin: Food is one of the many ways to a man's heart. I think. At least, that's what I hear. I lack experience in things of this nature. I know how to cook and bake, but ive never had the opportunity to cook for a guy. I'm willing to test that theory. On that note, who wants to be my first victim?

• Mollie Katie: The way to a man's heart is definitely through his stomach. Literally and metaphorically, this is a dictum that applies to both sexes. Preparing a meal is an intimate way to get closer to your partner. (My homemade mac and cheese is a signature "comfort food" dish.) And in general, everyone loves to be taken care of. I know I do. It just makes me feel warm and happy inside.

• Michelle: Ah, this old tale again. While I think there is a definite biological reason why this theory exists, I have yet to prove or disprove it. In theory, I can understand why and how it began. As men have traditionally been the providers and women the nurturers, a woman who could provide the most nurturing would, in theory, be the best at mothering the next generation as well as making the man comfortable and happy. However, in today's world, while that primal, biological need may still be there, it's mostly become "civilized." While I will admit that I have used cookies and other baked goods as a method of gaining the attentions of a particular male that I wanted, I don't believe that a man will fall in love with a woman just because she cooks well. For all their apparent simplicity, men are vastly more complicated than that. Thus, I believe that while cooking may indeed land the attentions or favor of a man, many more things must be present for you to gain his heart. Not to mention, cooking is all good and fine, but *ahem* wearing the food in certain situations will gain his attentions as well. Happy hunting ladies!

• Stephanie: I kind of wish I'd skipped out on this one, seeing as how I'm on vacation at the moment. If it isn't "sleeping" or "drinking coffee," well, I dunno. Can't quite see how it's of use to me.

And this question...yikes. Is the way to a man's heart really through his stomach? At this point, I'm more than willing to shrug, bat my eyelashes adorably, and feign both ignorance and innocence. There have probably been theses written about this, and I'm not even going to pretend I could answer it satisfactorily in a few hundred characters. The answer is yes, and the answer is no, but most importantly, the answer is forty-two.

You figure it out.

• Houston: The quickest way to a man's heart is definitely NOT his stomach.  That's just silly as anyone with a basic understanding of anatomy will tell you, the stomach is located approximately 18 inches below the average man's heart.  This proves the stomach is an ineffective path to the major circulatory organ.

The quickest way to a man's heart is directly through the sternum.  Perhaps a knife, cleaver or even a properly placed fingertip Karate chop (like in Kill Bill) could do the trick, but the sternum is very tough.  The abdominal cavity would be an easier path if the proper cutting/hacking object wasn't available.

I guess some people could construe that as the stomach, however I look upon them with disdain as it is a layman's term at best.

Sternum, definitely the sternum, with an ax... or train if an ax isn't available.

Oh, by the way. Happy New Year!

No comments:

Post a Comment