Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Facebook games

This week I asked The Panel about Facebook because I’m lame and couldn’t come up with anything else…

What, if any, Facebook games do you play and why do you like them?

Answers after the jump:

• Houston: OK, I have to admit that as I write this I am perplexed and torn (I am also in my underwear, but that is beside the point) because while I am on facebook, I do not play any of the games.  

None, nada... I also ignore all requests for me to join them.

Not because I am afraid of technology (*looks over his glasses at Mollie Katie*), or because I hate you and am just secretly keeping you as a friend on Facebook so I can keep tabs on when you may or may not be home and you may or may not have forgotten to lock your doors, but rather because as a Christian I believe the apps are EVIL! EVIL! EVIL!  Spawn of the Devil and Bill Gates (who's number adds up to be 666 I'll have you know).

I see the addiction of Farmville.  My teenage son spends ALL HIS TIME ON Facebook PLAYING FARMVILLE!!!! Growing food, that no one will eat? What. The. Heck???

The Boy In The Box will never escape the insanity of the home of his parents while he spends his life doing this.  The pain I see in him, oh the pain.  Son, the first step is to admit you have a problem.

Furthermore, what about MAFIA WARS??? Robbing and killing online? DIDN'T YOU PEOPLE SEE TRON? You don't know what you could be doing to the tiny people in our computers (just run with it, this is how Mollie thinks computers work OK)?

So, in conclusion, if you want to be my friend on Facebook, send me a request, see you soon.

• Justin: The only FB game I play is Scrabble, and that’s almost always against Jen or Michelle. I’ve just never really *got* the other games… even if my brother’s tried to get me to play Mafia Wars or whatever with him.

• Jen: I'm not sure why you would even ask this question. What are you insinuating? That I waste time on fb? That I annoy the crap out of my friends that don't play Farmville and Mafia Wars? That I adopt every turtle that gets lost on Paradise Island? Hah! Well I don't! I don't even know what these games are. Okay, that's a lie. I play the ones I mentioned and a few others. But in my defense, I don't try to recruit by sending general invites and I don't post every damn thing they ask me to post. I try to be aware of the people that don't play the games. I play them because I feel bad to have created something and then desert it. Its feelings will get hurt. Who will feed the cows? Those Alpacas are on a deserted island. What are they going to eat if I don't grow crops? Turtles? And you've heard of the mafia, right? They don't let you just quit, they'll FIND you. Just when I think I might be out, it pulls me back in!

But now my favorite past-time is Scrabble. I play my brother and Justin regularly and its a good challenge, keeps the brain limber, whereas the other games may actually petrify the brain.

I think we all have some mind numbing activity that takes us away for a while from our worries and woes. FB games help me to do that. So, my friends, if my game playing is aggravating, its pretty easy to hide any app notices by simply editing them out of your feed. But I have to go now, I have about 6 dish varieties to plate, corn, grapes and carrots to harvest and a few Alpacas to feed. Oh yea, can't forget that I have some "business" to take care of in Moscow if you know what I mean ....wink, wink......

• Stephanie: I am morally opposed to Facebook applications. Not Facebook -- oh dear god, no; I love the damn thing. But it makes me feel all nostalgic and old, because I remember when Facebook was for college kids only -- I remember when geographic and company networks were added. Back then, Facebook was just for posting pictures and -- gasp! -- social networking. And look at it now -- if I hear one more goddamn* person freaking out about their goddamn Farmville strawberries, I'm going to lose it. I don't want to join your Mafia, either. And I don't give a damn about which Gossip Girl character you are.

I've deleted every application Facebook let me; I am literally running on the basics. I used to use little gift-giving ones, like Growing Gifts and a specialized Come Again Players one that someone created in honor of my Rocky Horror cast. Those were cute and sweet, but now we're forced into a Facebook world infested with quizzes, memes, widgets and fan pages that are utterly, entirely, painfully unnecessary and ridiculous (like one of my personal favorites, "not being on fire." Okay, yeah, I'm a fan of that. Goes without bloody well saying, though, so shove off. And if it takes an entire sentence to describe it, you should've started a group. Not a fan page. And you should spell things properly.)

Seriously, I've had it. I've blocked every application that rears its ugly head from appearing in my news feed, because, although I might not actually care about everyone I'm friends with on Facebook (heh), I really, really don't care about what color your aura is. I don't understand it, I can't, and I don't hope to. I just want to preserve what little sanctity remains of the great mindless gift Mark Zuckerberg gave us, and I will defend it to the death. To the death, I say!**

* I will forever maintain that my usage of the word "goddamn" in this particular response is in tribute to J.D. Salinger. Yes.
** No one needs to take me up on this, thanks.



I’d like to take this time to remind everybody that we have a Fan Page on Facebook. Become a fan of us or we’ll sick a drunk Kristin on you. And, believe me, you don’t want that. She didn’t get us an answer this week because she’s too busy getting wasted for that to get us an answer. As far as Michelle, she’s got computer issues.

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